It’s been a while since I’ve updated! But the semester has flown by and a lot has happened since my last post.
First, things got pretty difficult
I was struggling to make friends and to adapt to the fast pace after 3 months of not doing anything. What really got me wasn’t the travelling or the lectures but the BREAKS! I confess that a few tears were almost shed when I discovered that I had to spend an hour eating lunch alone each day. As someone who struggles with a lot of anxiety, this was a big issue. I was too scared to explore the uni and I thought that everyone was judging me. Of course they weren’t, and if they were why would it matter? Then I discovered the systems garden, an oh so magical and peaceful place, and north court (north of union house) where I could eat in peace. it wasn’t just the lunch though, I struggled with the work and I felt that everyone else was above me academically.
Of course I wanted to drop out
I came home crying for the first two weeks. What nobody tells you is that starting university is hard. It’s a world away from the structure of VCE and you’re doing it all on your own. I thought I was going to fail and that I’d be kicked out for not getting high enough grades. I also wasn’t enjoying myself. The content wasn’t what I expected and some things such as the biology pracs were pure torture. You’re taking marks off me because I can’t slice a eucalyptus leaf thinly enough when it’s inside a piece of carrot? That actually happened. I left that day vowing that I would never go back but I did and it was worth it.
Then things got better
I discovered that the lecturers change and that the whole biology course was not about cells or plants and that although my poetry was terrible, other people had difficulties with it too. Then again it was pretty bad (I’ve burned all evidence). People started recognising me in lectures and I began to make friends in my lab classes-though I still didn’t learn everyone’s name. The content got better and I began to enjoy what I was studying. I could do this.
I found my favourite coffee shop. House of Cards- if you were wondering.
Wrote a rather bad but sensual essay on a sunset. I enjoyed my time philosophising and came up with what I thought was a rather insightful essay. My tutor thought otherwise.
I visited an art gallery- The Kaleidoscope Turn at the Ian Potter Gallery at NGV. To be fair I probably spent more time taking photos than I did researching the psychology assignment but I was learning after all.
Here’s where I leave you. I just wanted to reiterate that my experience did improve drastically and I’m now looking forward to the future and am considering a career in academia (in psychology of course). A lot can change in 12 weeks.