Please wait for me

What I’ve always wanted out of life is to help people whether it be as a health professional a stranger or a friend. It’s been the thing holding me to this world, getting me through the dark nights. My dream is to one day become a clinical psychologist and I really hope I get there. If I could make any small difference in one person’s life then I have to fight this. The suffering would be worth something.

I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire. -Stephanie Sparkles.

Except that right now…. I don’t know how to help people. I can’t be that person because I’m still burning. I can’t even help myself.

Sure, I can spread positivity and tell people to not give up because one day things will get better and they deserve to see that day. But I’m not sure if I believe that. For other people certainly, I do but I’m not sure things will ever improve for me. In fact, I’m certain they won’t. I feel like a hypocrite for telling someone something that I can’t apply to myself but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how they can recover or what will hep because I’m still struggling and I’m going through this all myself.

To everyone out there who is struggling, I want you to know that you are not alone. It may be impossible for another person to know exactly what you are going through but the things you feel, the thoughts you have- other people have them too. You are not alone. You are not alone. Repeat that over and over if you have to until it sinks in. There is help available and there are always other options. The times you feel like giving up, are the times that another person wants to give up too.

We need to fight. for each other. We need to fight so that one day adequate treatment is available and all mental health workers show the kindness and respect that is so desperately needed. We need to fight so that one day the stigma associated with the word ‘mental’ will be no greater than that of ‘illness’.We need to fight so that the world will become more understanding. You can make a difference so please don’t give up.

To those struggling, I want you to hear that I am coming. I am coming with buckets of water and firetrucks and bandages but I need to heal myself first. Please wait. I am coming.

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3 thoughts on “Please wait for me

    • My heart is warmed by reading your message. I hope that somehow and somewhere, I am able to help someone with my posts. Thats one of the reasons behind why I choose recovery each day.

      Liked by 1 person

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